I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
