good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
