I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
