Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
