cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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