Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
