I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Randomize
