Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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