Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
