we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
