Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
