nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
