You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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