Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize