I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
