Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
