we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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