Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Randomize
