he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
