maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Randomize
