Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
