i permit you to call me
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
