FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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