K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
