She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
foreskin is a definite game changer
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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