After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize