I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
