He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
