: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
