ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
