if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
