the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
