I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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