Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
