can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Randomize
