she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
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