dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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