HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize