all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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