talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
