In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
