I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Randomize
