in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
