I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Randomize
