dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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