Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
