I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize