just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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