theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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