In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
