I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Randomize
