It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
do herpes really smell.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
