please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize