My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Randomize
