hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
