why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Bring me that man meat
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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