i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
