Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
