I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
