May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
