Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Holy sore nipples Batman
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
