I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
