I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
