Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Randomize
